Those Darn RSVP's

As a bride, you've likely experienced some "sticker shock" in planning your wedding. Because I'd hate for you to experience any additional shock/stress in the last weeks leading up to your wedding day, I'm going to let you in on a little etiquette secret when it comes to your guests.

So, here's the secret ... there is often very little etiquette or consideration shown by your invited guests when it comes to RSVP'ing for your wedding. You will find that a large number (often a majority) will not respond at all. I wish I could give you the reasons for this trend, or tell you how to remedy the situation. While I can't do that, I can give you a couple of tips for helping you to keep the frustration to a minimum.

Tip #1: Give your guests a very short turn-around time to respond. I'm talking about 2 weeks MAX. This may go against everything else you read. However, if you stop and think about it, it makes sense. After all, if you receive something that doesn't require your immediate attention/response, you often set it aside so you can get to it later. And many times it can get shuffled under something else and forgotten. However, if you receive something that requires your immediate attention, you are much more likely to tend to it right away. Send your guests a "Save the Date" card well in advance so they can get your wedding on their calendars. Then reserve the invitations themselves for about a month prior to the wedding.

Tip #2: Make sure your "respond by" date is 2 weeks prior to your wedding. That will allow you time to follow up with those guests who have still not responded and still get your caterer a correct head count in time.

Tip #3: Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take it upon yourself to contact those who do not respond by the deadline. If you have a Wedding Planner (which is so very helpful to you!!), she will take on this responsibility. If you don't have a Wedding Planner, delegate, delegate, delegate. Let your bridesmaids, family members, close friends, etc. take on this task. You don't need the stress, and you certainly don't want to make things awkward for you or your guests.

Your job as the bride is to enjoy the planning and enjoy the day. It's as simple as that.